Self Trust (Part 3): Anxiety vs. Intuition
That which asks, and that which answers
(Self Trust Series: see Part 1 and Part 2 here!)
“How do I know the difference between anxious fear, and legitimate threat? What is the difference between my anxiety and my intuition?”. These are really valid questions that tend to surface when I ask clients to start to use their body as an instrument for truth, and to tune in to sensation. It can be quite confusing, because anxiety is often physically felt in the same part of the body that we tell you to listen to! “What is your gut telling you?”
The most elegant answer I’ve heard for this (very good) question is: anxiety asks, intuition answers. The difference can be subtle, but with practice, it becomes easier to tell the difference.
This sounds simple, and it is! But not everything that is simple is easy. Anxiety and intuition are intimately connected. When we ignore our intuition, anxiety can grow. And the longer we ignore something, the more painful it tends to become. This is usually because when we are making choices that allow us to ignore ourselves, and we are not trusting ourselves, we become misaligned (see my post on Authentic Power). Being inauthentic is painful in the long term.
Some examples of anxiety vs. intuition:
Anxiety loudly says; “but… what if?”. Intuition is the quieter, knowing answer.
Anxiety is the reaction, intuition is a response.
Anxiety asks a lot of ‘what if’s?’, without providing a satisfying solution.
Anxiety is restrictive, intuition is expansive.
Anxiety narrows, intuition opens up.
I understand why it is daunting to lean into intuition. I truly do. Listening to your intuition can sometimes be extremely inconvenient. Sometimes the truth of what we need to accept is very scary, so we avoid (leading to even more anxiety, by the way). If you are avoiding facing the truth of a situation, it is called denial. For example, an unhealthy relationship, a career that feels all wrong, or maybe even an addiction, being honest about that can be hugely confronting, and staying ambiguous and unaware might seem easier in the short term. However, these problems tend to turn into bigger and more dramatic issues the longer we avoid them. The relationship becomes more damaging, the addiction grows and your health and relationships suffer, the bad job causes burnout and depression.
Facing the truth can be overwhelming and scary, because after we admit something to be true, we then have no choice but to get real and act. Yikes!
But remember:
Fear makes our world smaller, where intuition wants the soul to grow.
Anxiety panics, intuition whispers and nudges (and then yells!)
Anxiety disconnects us from our bodies, intuition is embodied.
Anxiety is a cognitive and physical process, intuition is innate and sometimes subconscious process
Anxiety wants you to stay safe (or the same). Intuition also wants you to stay safe, but growing
Anxiety depletes, intuition restores
Some level of anxiety is normal and functional in life, it is meant to temporarily alert us to potential danger or threat, or an unmet need. However, if we don’t fundamentally trust ourselves, we might not listen to the intuitive solutions being offered to us, and things can spiral or get stuck.
Are there some major life questions looming, such as: Is there a big change I need to make in my life? Is there something that I’m doing that is harming me? Is there a person, place, situation or behaviour that I need to move closer to or away from? Is there a major dream or ambition that I am not pursuing? Am I being too passive or avoidant in my life in some way? Am I trying to force something that is not working? Do these questions trigger waves of anxiety? If you are honest with yourself, you probably know some of the answers to these questions.
Remember: Anxiety is not a character defect, it is more like a faulty smoke alarm. It goes off and alerts us to danger, even when there is no fire. It engages our imagination so convincingly, that our bodies respond to these threats as if they are real. So, congratulations, on having a powerful and creative imagination! Amazing. But what would happen if you leaned into Self Trust instead, and imagined yourself as capable, trustworthy, reliable, strong, resilient and heroic? What if you started to identify yourself as a problem-solver? And that you could solve problems if/when they appear, rather than preventing/worrying ahead of time? It might allow your body to relax and “stand down” a bit. It would allow your alarm system to quiet, so that you can hear the answers being given to you.
Trust yourself that you have answers, and refrain from compulsive reassurance seeking, or avoiding. The risk here is that if you make a mistake, you alone have to own it. BUT, this is not the end of the world - mistakes are normal and human. You learn, and you grow and you move forward. Try it!
Some suggestions: Meditation, yoga, silence, breath work, writing, being still, movement, sleep, creativity - these can all connect us to our bodies, which in turn can connect us to the subtle awareness that helps us understand our own truth. Reducing anxiety-producing activities such as overindulging, alcohol, caffeine, social media, drugs, phone use, absorbing news and sensational media - limiting these can all help to lower the volume on anxiety. (If you have unresolved trauma, this should also be an area of focus, as trauma disconnects us from our intuition and keeps us in survival).
Remember: our soul’s purpose in this world is to keep moving more and more into your unique expression of authenticity, expansiveness and love. And the best news of all is this: you already have everything you need, because you already have all of who you are - now go start living it!
Stay curious!
Madeleine